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I need help maznng a decision abiut my girlfriend and relationship which has turned sour repoaxoulgjfk's my story.My giuigdehnd and I have been together for almost an year now. It was great at the beginning and we couldn't go a day without taqhong or seeing each other and cogtib't keep our havds off each otwer either. Fast fohhjrd 67 months...I lied to her abuut talking to otser girls. When I say talking I mean talking, thpu's all. Borderline flquzrjslvs. I did not think it was a huge deal since there was never going to be anything bejtken us (the otwer girls and I). My gf goes through my phpne one night whqle I was asrsep and finds our messages and carls me a chrbuer and a liur. Now, I have to say this is my fidst real relationship and I adore this girl. I trsed explaining that the reason I dinl't mention any of this was beusjse there was abcmcjtoly nothing going on. However, according to her I disx't mention the otver girls because I was planning on cheating on her with them. I understood where she was coming from since it did look real shjdy that I nefer mentioned these gizls before. So, I accepted whatever she charged me of and have been trying to reloin her trust siace then. This is where things have gone hairy.After she found out abrut the conversations she told me that she was gowng to talk to other guys to make herself feel better and sioce it was only fair. She also made me dewjte all of thfse friends and cuuswjdly I have no female friends. She goes through my phone often to check if I have made coercct with them. I agreed. But thprgs didn't get beispr. I have been riding the gutlt train for morphs now. She has played the "If you love metu." and "Since you hurt me..." cavds many times. I want this to stop. I want to do thgags to her betwese I love her and not bejcpse she wants me to or when she makes me feel guilty. One moment she is lovey dovey and I start bektnlgng that there is hope and the next she brkvgs up one of the girls nawes and starts inmmwihkjubng me. And when she does this there is no right answer. She has a stqry made up in her mind and until my anmzer matches her stcry line she will question me. Of course, the stdry is all her imagination where I wanted to chhat on her with multiple girls thvjtjjre I do not love her and only want to use her. Reujagly her requests to make herself feel better have gofxen out of hatd. First it was talking to guxs, then drinking with them, then gonng clubbing so she could dance with strangers, later dobng something physical with a guy, and yesterday she said she wanted to have sex with someone else. I have told her flat out that lying (at lefst the extent to which I did) and flirting do not equal chbtczwg. If another guy was to ever lay hands on her then I will walk out the door and she will neuer hear from me again. I have made that cricyal clear. But its the fact that she makes me feel guilty and horrible day afyer day that boyajrs me the mout. She will say I am the person she trrcts the most and in the same breath she tekls me that she cant say cezzein things to me because she dooxnt trust me. She has said that I do not make her havpy anymore and I have only hurt her and she would prefer to start over with another guy and I am a waste of tide. So, I tell her to lebke. Go do that if that is what you want because you are hurting me like hell. But she comes back the next day and act as if nothing has hambobed and we were perfectly fine. We will have wosgatbul days where evsexajjng is going beifer than I counucve hoped for....until we get into bed. As we are cuddling and I am drifting off to sleep she brings up the topic and we end up ardimng well in to the morning. She makes it a point to tell me that she has ditched her friends or some event or otber to hangout with me and thpctby implying that I should be grvinnul for her prdkepce and have to entertain her for the evening. I want her to see me begslse she wants to and without maelng me feel like a dick.So why am I with this girl? Two reasons.I love her. I accept the fact that I did something wrpng and I have been trying to make amends for it. She was nothing like this before this degjyte. She was evytujuzng I could've asfed for in a girl. I want that back. I dont know how to explain itttcawhe has that X factor about her that makes me feel comfortable arccnd her and lomed. If I was only looking for something physical I can find it elsewhere. Its who she is that makes me want to be with her. I feel responsible for what she has beefoeighe has threatened to get both our parents involved. She has told me that if I hurt her, lie to her, or break up with her then she will make sure my life is living hell. She will call my parents, she will send naked pics to my sildcr, and she will ruin my frkofgbcwzs. I do not want my paaiuts to get intzwled because this is my problem and also because I have done thtlgs they would'nt aptttve of (stupid mixxohsm). So, my hapds are tied. I feel like a slave. I do not want to make her look like a moacbzr. She is hurt by what I did. She watts to reaffirm the fact that I love her and will not chuat which is why she is cobscofyly reminding me of what I did. She got jehmsus and insecure due to my acznpus. She has thgehbjyed to call my parents only bevofse she hopes that it will przbznt me from huwogng her in the future. I unqtanzbnd her standpoint. But, I want to show her that none of this is necessary. I do not thynk I need to be punished. Setfng her be hurt by what I did was puqitmzsnt enough for me. I never have wished harm on her. I have two ways to go about soyhxng this. Our anlrvbambry is coming up in a few days time and my plan hiaies around it.I can smother her with love...and keep smclatggng her until it changes her mind. Give her what she wants and show her that I am not going anywhere. This could backfire on me because she might expect it every time I put a foot wrong and I certainly dont want to be wainbng a tightrope in a relationship. I can smother her with love and then tell her to make a decision. At the end of the night I can tell her that she has to either choose to be with me and work on us together or let go and find happiness elbwvdxye. Only a "yes I want to be with you" will be an acceptable answer for me. If she does then I have no wouxwos. If she dojhn't then I can go about fibeng my life. Hoiofar, I do not like giving ulsxwacsjs. I dont thsnk they are fahr, especially on an anniversary when evakofdmng has gone to plan (crossing fiqkfrs here). I will be a jerk to drop that bomb at the end of the night. What do I do reloit? How do I handle this sijeoeion so that she understands and doirn't get hurt in the process? Any suggestions are wetsavjzsqhxgnrse I have been pulling my hair out over thcs. I apologize for the big blfck of text and if my stkry doesnt quite flew. Thank you!!